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| But I was still on the roof, freezing my ass off and pondering my next dramatic move. I flicked my cigarette and the ashes fell on my shoes. Cursing, I scuffed at the snow. There was a bang of the door, and I lifted my head to watch her stumbling toward me like a bird attempting flight for the first time.
"Well, are you ready?" She slurred, clutching at my lapels. Her lipstick was smeared and the alcohol on her breath smelled like rotten fruit. It seemed like a good idea at the time, inviting her-- but she ended up being too big of a mess, too loud, too funny. I pried her fingers from my coat.
"Yeah, just give me a minute."
She spun around and teetered back down the stairs, blonde hair spilling everywhere. I took another drag of my cigarette and then crushed it with my shoe. She yelped, and fell into a patch of snow by the door. I helped her up, brushing snow off her frozen legs.
"Fuck, it's cold," she chattered. Her dress was wet and plastered to her body. I wrapped my coat around her and led her downstairs, finally hailing a cab. | | |
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it was so cold today they had to call off school. isn't that insane? so my mom didn't let me out because she wants to fucking kill me. via asphyxiation.
so i studied all day long, no joke-- all day. i did ap euro from 11 to 3, and then did physics from 3 to 7. in between i did a lot of stuff on the computer, but nothing much. walked around a little. in between the two subjects i took a nap on my bed because the sun made it really, really warm.
i still feel like i have a lot of work to do for ap euro though, and i still don't feel completely ready for my physics test tomorrow... i just haven't really been focused today, even though i've been doing work. it sucks!
even though i wouldn't have gotten any work done if i had gone to school, i still feel like having school would have been a lot better than staying at home. i really can't fucking stand being at home anymore. i've honestly never felt such restraint from my mom; she's really not letting me go and it's pissing me off. aa; lsdk aeaowi jlkxe.
okay, it sounds like i had a really bad day, and i think i sorta did... i hate being sad. | | |
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my mom has the coolest chinese penmanship. i was reading a letter she wrote to her friend (good thing she didn't say anything i didn't already know), and i was just admiring each pen stroke.
anyway,
i think you guys were right, i was putting waaay too much thought into it. he's just trying to make me happy, and obviously i should appreciate it, and i do! i do i do i do. i also talked to my friend amanda about it (she's from taiwan, moved to madison like five years ago), and she said like exactly the same thing that you guys said. i guess i'm going crazy!
i woke up a little late today, but still managed to not be late or anything. i had a math test first thing in the morning, and got stuck on a question (you have a piece of wire 10ft long. you cut it into two pieces and make one piece into a square and the other a circle. how must you cut the wire so that the total area of the square and circle is as small as possible?). spanish was lame. in honors physics the teacher was sooo 長氣-- wait, 汽？which one? lol anyways, yeah, and he didn't finish teaching the lesson even though we're getting tested friday. niiice!
after school i had crew, which is part of drama club, where you do stuff that's not for the rehearsals. i looked for props today, with m. we had a good time, nothing exciting, but it was nice to sort of chill.
i'm not sure where i've heard of this theory before, but it's definitely from somewhere: that we're only allowed a certain amount of happiness, and then when you have exeded that amount, everything can only go down from there. i'm sort of starting to believe that. | | |
| that can't be a coincidence, no way.
yup, i've finally started studying! too bad i still haven't taken a shower yet, plus i have a phone date with m later. actually, now... don't know what's going on with that. anyways, i'm so glad that the american revolution is only covered in, like, three pages because i've been learning about that stuff for the last ten years; it doesn't get more interesting, believe me. the french revolution is much more interesting, albeit more bloody and depressing. fffuck, what am i doing here? i just said i've started studying, and now i'm here doing this. whatthefuck. | | |
| 今天早上一打開 locker 的時候就看見一份禮物！原來是阿 M 給我的；我問他的時候，他說昨天去了 barnes and noble 書店買給我。禮物就是我買給 katie 的生日禮物（我買的時候跟阿 M 說很喜歡，好想自己買一本），的另外一本很好看的 graphic novel。但是我覺得.... 只是有點 too much, 對不對？ 因為昨天都是 school night 嗎，他都要 on purpose 坐車出去幫我買，然後再坐車回學校放進我 locker 裡面。 我問他的時候，他說五點才回家。 其實我開始覺得他太依賴；我們只有三個星期叫做 "going out" 他已經開始無啦啦買東西給我。。。我應該開心嗎？因為我其實有點 apprehensive about this whole situation... i don't know; am i thinking too much into this? help! 還有呢，我很多朋友都說我跟他兩個都是很 "clingy" 的人，可是再香港我覺得甚麼女朋友都會是 clingy 的。。。但是美國的人會比較 independent 多一些。。。哎呀，不知道點算呀，是不是我想得太多呢？？
but otherwise, my day was pretty crappy. i mean it wasn't a good day, but i guess it wasn't absolutely horrible. shiiiit man, i still haven't started on any ap euro work! i've been procrastinating for like THREE weeks and it's fiiinally due friday... i don't know what i'm going to dooo.
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